


The Silmarillion, but make it Super

by ThatFeanorian



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Adventure, Caranthir is violet, Celegorm is dash, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Fluff, Incredibles AU, Maedhros and fingon are the gayest babies ever, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, code names, featuring haleth the 5 time wrestling champion, fingon has an existential crisis because he can't be a superhero anymore, super hero AU, the incredibles but insert your favorite finweans, this is the most self-indulgent thing i have ever written, thranduil features as an angry cat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:42:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26999875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatFeanorian/pseuds/ThatFeanorian
Summary: Imagine The Incredibles, but then turn every character into a finwean. This is what you get.This is cracky and made with so much love and adoration for the characters I am using and I hope you love it as much as I do.
Relationships: Celegorm | Turcafinwë & Fingon | Findekáno, Celegorm | Turcafinwë & Maedhros | Maitimo, Elu Thingol | Elwë Singollo & Maedhros | Maitimo, Ereinion Gil-galad & Fingon | Findekáno, Ereinion Gil-galad & Maedhros | Maitimo, Fingon | Findekáno & Finrod Felagund | Findaráto, Fingon | Findekáno & Maglor | Makalaurë, Fingon | Findekáno/Maedhros | Maitimo, Finrod Felagund | Findaráto & Maedhros | Maitimo, Fëanor | Curufinwë & Fingon | Findekáno, Maedhros | Maitimo & Maglor | Makalaurë, Maedhros | Maitimo & Sons of Fëanor, Sauron | Mairon & Elu Thingol | Elwë Singollo, Sauron | Mairon & Fingon | Findekáno
Comments: 17
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> almost all of this first chapter was stolen directly from Delusional_Lunatic_3791's fic "The Valiant" which I strongly recommend you go check out because it is genius and the source of inspiration for this whole work. After this chapter, things will start to be original and spicy.
> 
> let me know what you think!

**Interview with Astaldo, March 31** **st** **, 1998**

“I…are you sure this thing is on?”

“Yes sir, you’re doing great.”

“I can’t...this is fine?”

“That’s fine, sir, just fine.”

Finally, Astaldo settled into his chair, microphone correctly secured to his chest. He leaned back in his chair with a lazy smile, aware of how it made his fans squirm with delight—particularly the ones in love with him.

“So, Mr. Astaldo, sir, do you have a secret identity?”

Astaldo snorted. “Well of course. I don’t know anyone who goes without one. Can you imagine the pressure of trying to be ‘super’ all the time? People constantly asking you to solve every little problem for them just because you wear a cape?

**Interview with Russandol, March 31** **st** **, 1998**

“Of course I have a secret identity. It’s the smart thing to do,” Russandol said, smiling politely at his interviewer. “Can you imagine the havoc I’d cause if I walked into a doctor’s office as Russandol?”

The interviewer chuckled. “I bet that would give the waiting room a shock!”

“Yeah!” Russandol said, grinning at the thought. “Can you imagine the poor doctor? They’d be scared out of their mind, treating a superhero! Why would I do that to some poor soul?”

**Interview with Felagund, March 31** **st** **, 1998**

“I know!” Felagund said, slapping the arm of his chair. “And the entire time, all she wanted was my secret identity! Can you believe it?”

“No, sir,” the interviewer said, awed by Felagund’s brightness.

“I mean, you’ve got me, Felagund, all-powerful and wise and sexy as Eru, and you want the mild-mannered alter-ego? They always seem to want it too, think knowing’ll strengthen the relationship or something.”

“Surely your alter-ego is also amazing?” the interviewer tried.

“Oh, of course!” Felagund smiled a dazzling smile, one that made all his fans melt, and flipped brilliant gold curls over his shoulder. “I mean, how could it not be? But come on, choosing some everyday Joe me over superhero me? Are you kidding?

**Interview with Astaldo, March 31** **st** **, 1998**

“I mean, do you have any idea how annoying being a superhero is?” Astaldo asked. “It…I cannot begin to describe to you how tired I am of getting home from work, exhausted and ready for bed, and the police scanner goes Tour bus robbery! Tour bus robbery! Astaldo, get your ass over here right now! I mean, it’s enough to make a grown man cry!”

“Have you cried, before?” the interviewer asked curiously.

“Hey now, that’s something for me to know and the public to guess at,” Astaldo said, waggling a finger teasingly. “But yeah, it gets tiring after a while. Not to sound like an ass or anything, but I feel like a mom who’s been picking up after her kids all day and is ready to pass out, and then her kid goes and spills juice all over the carpet.”

“Oh, that’s funny!” the interviewer laughed, clapping their hands. “That’s a very accurate description, I suppose!”

“Yes, yes! I swear, it can really wear a man down!” Astaldo yawned, stretching his arms, and made to stand.

“Ah, sir? We’re not finished yet! Sir—!”

**Interview with Astaldo, March 31** **st** **, 1998**

“Yeah, I do think I’d like to settle down someday,” Astaldo said, twisting his hands together. “Maybe even with kids of my own, though…that really isn’t my thing.”

“Ah, a bachelor for life, eh?” the interviewer asked slyly.

“No, not quite. I would like to find a spouse, though. Someone nice, good-looking, smart…”

“A lovely lady for a handsome man!” the interviewer finished heartily.

Astaldo gave the interviewer a vacant smile “Yeah, but I doubt there’ll be kids for me. Maybe just help raise nieces and nephews.”

“With your beautiful wife by your side!”

Astaldo smiled at the sweet, clueless interviewer. “Sure.”

**Interview with Russandol, March 31** **st** **, 1998**

“Are you serious?” Russandol asked the interviewer. “Of course I’m not going to settle down! Not any time soon, anyway. I’m at the top of my game! I’ve got places to go, people to see… I don’t think so.”

“And will you have a handful of children running around?” the interviewer asked. “I’m sure any woman would love to be your wife!”

Russandol almost rolled his eyes. Seriously? Couldn’t people take a hint?

“I don’t think so,” he said. “But for now, leave the fate of the world to the rest of these idiots? No way!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day in the life of "Astaldo" and the prelude to the most important moment of "Finno's" life.

###  **April 18, 6:27 pm**

The robber’s car shot down the high street, swerving erratically here and there across the road as he aimed out the window with his gun.

There was no way this could go wrong. He was almost out of town, no supers in sight, and the cops were falling further and further behind. 

The bag of money laying on the seat next to him rippled in the wind and he gave it a loving and excited glance as he aimed and fired a few more times at the car behind him which swerved into traffic to avoid the bullets.

A grin flashed across his covered face as he sped, uninterrupted, towards the highway that would take him out of town. 

###  **April 18, 6:25 pm**

Findekáno Fingolfinion, more commonly known as Finno, bounced up and down in uncontainable excitement in the seat of his car, a grin plastered across his face. He has never been more excited in his life and he looked nervously down at himself for a moment nervously, hoping that he looked the part. Finno catalogues his navy blue tuxedo immaculate, a pale yellow tie neatly tucked into the jacket, his dark hair braided back out of his face with gold. 

His fingers clench on the steering wheel of his car as his heart thumps in his throat. This is the most important day of his life.

The radio of his car crackles to life, interrupting his thoughts as an urgent voice calls out,

“We interrupt for an important announcement: a highspeed pursuit between police and an armed robber is taking place on high street, heading east-bound. We urge all citizens to stay away!”

“Damn it!”

Finno made a split-second decision, glancing down at his watch and murmuring, 

“Yeah… I’ve got time,” Before jerking the stearing wheel to the left and pressing a single small red button on the side of his chair. 

A screen appears where the radio should be and flashes a bright blue message, 

“Welcome, Astaldo,” As a soft female voice says, “Setting course for intercept.” 

Finno pressed another button, this one nondescript and black and relaxed in his seat as it folded backwards and mechanical arms appeared, wrapping over his lean muscular frame and removing his tuxedo to reveal a bright blue super suit beneath it, shot through with subtle streaks of gold. His hands were covered by gold gloves and gold boots snaked up his legs. 

The seat folded upwards again, landing him inside a completely new car with an enormous screen and his logo, a tiny A blinking and moving steadily towards High street where two red dots are racing down the road towards him. 

Astaldo reached behind him and grabs his helmet, gold with blue accents, and shoved it onto his head, just in time to screech to a stop in front of an old woman who had run out into the street in front of him.

“Astaldo, Oh Mr. Astaldo, sir!” Astaldo rolled down his window, flashing a winning smile at the woman and asked,

“What is it Ma’am?” The woman wrung her hands and pointed up into an enormous old tree in the topmost branches of which there was a tiny orange tabby cat. 

“It’s my cat Thranduil, he won’t come down!” Astaldo looked up at the tree and the cat gave him an angry hiss which seemed to be telling him ‘don’t even try it’. Astaldo let out a tiny sigh and gave the woman another grin,

“Certainly, ma’am, but I suggest that you back up. We don’t want things to get ugly.” The woman took a few steps back but shook her head,

“Oh I wouldn’t worry, sir, he’s quite tame--” Astaldo marched over to the tree and ripped it from the ground, roots and all, tipping it over horizontally so that the top branches of the tree hovered about a foot above the old woman’s face. 

Giving his monitor another nervous look, Astaldo saw the two red dots barely a block away and began shaking the tree violently, making Thranduil the cat yowl in protest and dig his claws stubbornly into the tree’s bark. 

As the police cars rounded the corner and came into Astaldo’s sight he gave the tree one last hard shake, finally dislodging the cat, and hurled the tree backwards, sending it flying into the road just as the robber’s car drove past. The tree crashed into the hood of the car, crushing it like a bug. 

___

Astaldo patted down the earth surrounding the freshly planted tree, and turned back to the old lady and the cops who were then pushing the robber into one of their cars, handcuffed. 

“Thank you, Astaldo, you’ve done it again!” One of the cops said adoringly, and another replied: “Yeah, you’re the best!” Astaldo gave them a lazy grin and shook his head,

“Naw, I’m just doing my job.” From the car, his radio piped up, 

“Attention, we have a tour bus robbery in the Parkside area, robber is reported to be wearing…” Ataldo pulled down his glove to check his watch again and frowned, doing a quick time calculation. 

“Tour bus robbery… yeah I’ve still got time.” He gave a playful salute, “Officers, Ma’am, Thranduil, I’ll see you around!” Then he jumped back into his car and was about to step on the gas when he heard a voice from behind him squeak,

“Ready for take-off!” Astaldo turned around, surprised to find himself face to face with a little red-heaired boy with a sparkly blue unitard and a paper mask. 

“What the-- wait who are you supposed to be?” The boy jumped up in his seat, striking a pose and banging his head on the seat of Astaldo’s car. 

“Ow-- I’m Mairon! The Admirable!” Astaldo frowned, running through a list of names in his mind,

“No you’re not, you’re that boy from the fan club-- what’s his name… Annatar! _Annatar--_ ” 

“No I’m _not,_ I’m Mairon.”

“Yes you are! Look, I’ve been nice to you. I’ve stood for pictures, I’ve signed every scrap of paper you’ve thrown at me, I even came to your birthday party, but this is just going too far. You can’t--”

“You don’t have to worry about training me! I know _everything_! Your moves, your catchphrases, your crime-fighting style-- everything! I’m your biggest fan!” 

Astaldo looked down at his watch and grumbled something about the “fucking time,” pressing yet another button on the front of his car and not even staying to watch as Annatar was blasted out of his seat and landed on his feet in the road behind him. 

###  **April 18, 6:45**

A trail of stolen goods marks the path of the thief and Astaldo follows it easily, sneaking up behind a thin reedy man who sits hunched over a purse on the roof of number 4 Monument Boulevard.

“Ya know…” The thief jumps to his feet, raising a gun and pointing it at Astaldo’s chest, but Astaldo, flashes him a grin and saunters forwards.

“I’ve heard you can tell a lot about a woman by the contents of her purse, but I’ll bet that’s not what you had in mind.” The thief cocks the gun and Astaldo’s grin turns slightly predatory, but before either of them can do anything, what looks like a ball of fire slams into the thief’s face and he drops down to the ground, unconscious.

Astaldo blinks a few times and then turns to find himself face to face with a freakishly tall man in a metallic bronzy suit. His hair appears to be on fire and his eyes glow gold in the setting sun. 

“Russandol.” He chokes out, sounding hoarse and out of breath,

“Astaldo.” The man’s response is cool and controlled, his voice a soft tenor that makes Astaldo’s heart beat a little too fast. He clears his throat,

“You… uh… didn’t have to do that. I had the situation under control.” Russandol gives him a slow smile and bends down, beginning to pick up the thief,

“Sure you had it under control. I just took him out for you.”

“Of course you took him out, his attention was on me!” Astaldo replied, trying not to focus on how incredible attractive Russandol’s thin hips looked jutted out to one side to support the weight of the unconscious man. 

“A fact which I exploited to do my job.” He said smoothly, and Astaldo faltered for just a moment before shooting back,

“ _My_ job, you mean.”

“A simple thank you would be more than enough for me,” Russandol murmured, and Astaldo shook his head as if trying to get water out of his ears,

“Thanks, but I don’t need any help.” Russandol watched him for a moment and then dropped the thief to the ground and took a step closer. 

“Whatever happened to finders keepers?”

“Whatever happened to first come first serve?” On the ground again, the thief began to stir and said groggily,

“Hey, look, Russandol got me first--” Russandol’s foot caught on fire and he kicked the side of the man’s head, knocking him out again.

“We _could_ share you know.” He said, and Astaldo forced himself to take a deep breath, 

“I work alone” he lied, and then let out a little squeak as Russandol moved even closer, mere inches away from him now. 

“Well, then, I think you need to be a little more... “ He moves still closer, his lips almost touching Astaldo’s ear, “Flexible.” 

Fingon blinked, dazed and then murmured, 

“You… uh… doing anything later?” Russandol took a step back, offering him another slow smile and replying,

“I have a previous engagement,” Before leaping off the roof of the building and disappearing. Astaldo stood speechless for a moment and then took a deep breath in as if he had forgotten how to breathe. 

“Wow.” He whispered to himself, and then grabbed the thief and handcuffed him to the side of the roof. Pressing a button on his helmet, he hotlined the police,

“Hello? Yes, this is Astaldo, I’ve got him. He’s on the roof of 4 on Monument.”

“Heyy Astaldo!” Astaldo turned and waved as a golden-haired man in a pale blue suit streaked across the sky above him, in pursuit of a helicopter which was sending rapid bursts of gunfire back in his direction. 

“Felegund!” Astaldo called back cheerfully, a smile on his face, watching as Felegund surged forwards through the air and grabbed onto the door handle of the helicopter, wrenching it open.

“Shouldn’t you be getting ready?” Felegund yelled and Astaldo glanced down, checking his watch again.

“I’ve still got time!” He responded, just as a scream echoed from behind him.

“He’s going to jump!” A woman gasped from below and Astaldo grimaced, spinning around on the spot to see a man poised to jump at the top of a tall office building. 

He hesitated for a moment, then jogged to the edge of his own building watching as the man fell… and fell… and-- Astaldo jumped, pushing off the roof with all his strength, grabbing the man, and crashing through the glass wall of the office building and slamming straight into a cubicle.

The man beneath him groaned and Astaldo quickly climbed off of him.

“I think you broke my collar bone,” he moaned, but Astaldo was barely listening, his ears trained on a different sound as he muttered,

“Well I think will counselling you’ll come to forgive me. Now hush so I can listen to--”

BOOM.

The source of the high pitched beeping that Astaldo had been listening to quickly revealed itself as the wall opposite him exploded. He was hurled backwards to the very edge of the building before skidding to a stop and he stood up, coughing, as the debris settled, revealing a tiny woman with claw-like fingernails clutching a large back stuffed full of… something.

“Thuringwethil,” Astaldo growled, starting towards her and a cruel smile crossed the woman’s face.

“Ah, Astaldo. We meet ag--”

“And Mairon!” An excited voice called out from behind them. Astaldo and Thuringwethil both turned around to see Annatar floating in midair behind them. He clumsily flew over and for a moment, Astaldo was impressed, gazing down at the kid’s rocket-propelled boots with interest.

Where on earth did a kid learn to make stuff like that?

He shook his head again and refocused on Thuringwethil, who’s face had curled into an expression of pure disgust.

“Mairon?” She questioned dubiously and the little boy nodded, stumbling into some semblance of a landing and striking a pose.

“Hey, hey, don’t you wanna know how come I move around so quick? See? I got myself rocket boots! They’re made from--” Astaldo rolled his eyes and grabbed Thuringwethil’s arm as she tried to slide away from them.

“You need to go home. Now.” The boy looked offended and reached up, grabbing Astaldo’s arm and dragging him away from Thuringwethil who stood playing with her razor-sharp nails looking bored. 

“Can we talk?” Annatar asked and continued speaking without waiting for a reply.

“You always say follow your dreams and they’ll become a reality, well, this is my dream! I’ve finally figured out who I want to be!” Astaldo raised an eyebrow,

“You’re what… 8? You’ve officially taken this too far.”

“Is it because I’m not a super like you? Well, guess what, you don’t need to have powers to be a super.” He pointed at his shoes, “I _invented_ these. I can fly! Can _you_ fly?” Astaldo gave Annatar a hard look,

“Fly home, kid. I work alone.” He turned to walk away from the little boy, but Annatar’s whining voice kept going,

“Look, just gimme a chance. I can… I can call the cops! Watch me!” he turned away and jumped out the window, zooming off into the night. 

On any other occasion, Astaldo would have been glad to be done with him, but as Annatar flew off, he noticed a tiny blinking red light attached to the back of Annatar’s unitard. 

“Hey Annatar, No! You’ve got a--” Astaldo let out a grunt of impatience as Annatar ignored him and he ran to the window, abandoning Thuringwethil and launching himself out after the little boy. 

He landed squarely on Annatar’s back, wrenching him backwards and causing his rocket boots to send sparks flying in every direction as they flew jerkily through the air.

“Hey!” Annatar shouted, “Let go! You’re ruining my flight patterns and you’re going to rip my suit!” Astaldo tugged at the beeping bomb, trying to disconnect it from the unitard while the two of them rocketed upwards, completely out of control. Astaldo gave one final tug and the bomb disconnected, sending him flying off balance and then falling down towards the ground. 

He hurled the bomb away from himself as he fell and barely had time to register the sound of an explosion behind him before he connected to the ground with a loud _crunch_ and the sensation of one of his shoulders popping out and back into its socket. 

Astaldo raised his head groggily and looked behind himself to see an enormous hole in the raised train track he had landed on and then looked back around to see --to his horror-- a train racing down the track towards him. 

Pushing himself up with a groan of protest he sets his jaw and stares at the incoming train, digging his feet into the ground and lifts his arms, readying himself for the impact.

The train crashes against him, winding him and setting his aching shoulder on fire. Astaldo pushes back against it, skidding backwards feet at a time until he is standing at the very edge of the precipice formed by the hole in the tracks. Just as he is about to slip the track and fall, the train finally skids to a stop. 

Breathing fast, Astaldo twists to his right and cracks his back then jumps down, landing in front of the incoming police cars with a brilliant grin.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Wedding, and a... minor political issue.

###  **April 18, 7:10 pm**

Astaldo grabbed Annatar by the arm and dragged him over to the police, giving the little boy an annoyed glare and saying,

“Take this one home, and make sure his parents know where he’s been.” Annatar struggled against the cops, reaching out towards him and yelling,

“I could help you, you know! You’re making a mistake! Hey--” The door of the police car slams shut and he is cut off, leaving Astaldo to turn back to the officers and ask,

“The injured jumper?”

“We’ve already got paramedics on the scene. He’s being taken to a hospital as we speak.”

“Okay, good, now listen. The blast to the tracks was caused by Thuringwethil, who I caught in the act. We should be able to catch her if--”

“You mean she got away?” Astaldo shrugged,

“Sort o--yes. She did. The kid made sure of that.”

“MAIRON!” Astaldo lost his patience and rounded on Annatar,

“You are _not_ affiliated with me!” He opens his mouth to continue speaking and a tiny alarm begins beeping on his wristwatch, making him jump,

“Valar damn it, I’m late. I’ve got to be somewhere if you need anything--”

“But what about Thuringwethil?” Astaldo shook his head,

“Listen, if it were any other night I’d go after her myself, but I really have to go. I’m going to be so late as it is…” He pressed a small button on the side of his helmet and his car came skidding around the corner, pulling to a stop right in front of him. He waved and jumped into the car calling back,

“I’m so sorry, but don’t worry! We’ll catch him eventually!” He slammed the door shut behind himself and raced off down the road, pressing the auto-drive button and letting his car do the work for him as he slid his seat backward again and let the mechanical arms of the car change him out of his suit and back into the sleek navy tuxedo that he had been wearing before. 

###  **April 18, 7:20 pm**

Finno slid to a smooth stop in front of the church, climbing out of his car and running up the steps to meet a thin blonde figure who is waiting for him at the top of the steps. His heart is pounding in his throat and his hands are trembling by his sides.

“Don’t you think you’re cutting it a little close?” Finno grinned nervously up at Findaráto Finarfinion and ignored this comment, instead asking,

“How do I look? Am I late?” Findaráto shook his golden head ruefully and gave Finno a knowing look, 

“You’re right on time, though I doubt that he’s is going to very pleased with that.” he gave Finno a critical look up and down and then rolled his eyes,

“You forgot to take off your helmet, but besides that, you look fine. Stop worrying. He loves you.” Findaráto reached over and pulled Finno’s helmet off his head, leaving Finno to run a hand through his braids anxiously, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet.

“Are you sure we’re doing the right thing? I mean--”

“ _Finno_. Get in there before he leaves. You’re late enough as it is.” Finno gave Findaráto a nervous grin and pushed open the doors, his breath immediately catching in his throat as he looked up at the man waiting for him at the end of the aisle. 

Nelyafinwë Maitimo Fëanorion, known to his friends as Nelyo, looked absolutely stunning. Fingon couldn’t help staring at him, frozen in the doorway for a moment, watching Nelyo give him a stunning smile which made his entire face light up.

Extraordinary tall and thin with a head of flaming red hair falling in waves down his back, Nelyo looked nervous and excited at the same time as Fingon hurried down the aisle to meet him, casting a single cursory look around the rest of the room and then fixing his eyes back on his husband-to-be. 

Nelyo raised an eyebrow, whispering,

“When you asked me if I was doing anything earlier I thought that was a joke. I didn’t think you’d actually forgotten--”

“I didn’t! I was joking!” Finno protested and Nelyo shook his head with a fond smile on his face, 

“I love you, but if we’re going to make this work, you need to be so much more than just ‘Astaldo.’ You know that, right?” Finno stared up into Nelyo’s grey-blue eyes and took a deep breath, listening as the pastor asked,

“...as long as you both shall live?” 

“I do.” He promised, and Nelyo’s face split into a sparkling smile as he pulled Finno into his arms and kissed him gently on the lips, almost exploring, hesitant. Finno sighed into it, his eyes fluttering closed, and wrapped his arms tightly around Nelyo, his world fading away so that he could barely hear the mingled cheers and catcalls of Nelyo’s siblings and the enthusiastic applause of the rest of their audience. 

Nelyo pulled away, still grinning, and Finno opened his eyes, dazed and happier than he had ever been before. 

“As long as we both shall live. No matter what happens.” Nelyo murmured and Fingon hugged him tightly, blinking away the tears in his eyes before pulling back and giving Nelyo a grin,

“Come on, we’re superheroes. What could happen?”

###  **April 30, Tirion Post**

_In a stunning turn of events, a Superhero is being sued for saving someone who, apparently, didn't want to be saved. Th€ Plaintiff, Turin Turumbar, who was foiled in his attempted suicide by Astaldo, has filed a suit against the famed Superhero in superior court. Reporter Varda Elbereth was on scene at the courthouse last night and described the atmosphere as “so tense you could cut it with a knife.”_

_Turumbar’s complaint rests as such: “Mr Turumbar did not ask to be saved, Mr Turumbar did not want to be saved, and the actions of Mr Astaldo have caused him injuries that give him daily intense pain!” As the lawyer set the ground for the beginning of the trial, Astaldo seemed incapable of restraining himself from replying, “I saved your life!” To which Turumbar then responded, “You ruined my death,” After which the courtroom descended into chaos for the remainder of the session. It is unclear whether…_

###  **May 5, Tirion Post**

_Another suit has been filed against Astaldo, this time for the victims of the Helcaraxë train wreck from the night of April the 18th. Victims claim that Astaldo knowingly put them into harm’s way by exploding a section of track and then proceeded to cause them bodily harm by ‘saving’ the train from collapse. Tirion Post’s Varda Elbereth reports that the loss of this court case has cost the government millions, and has opened the floodgates for millions of similar lawsuits for superheroes around the world._

###  **May 10, Tirion Post**

_Ar-Feiniel Sued!_

_‘Super’ Damages!_

_Treblemaker using voice for ‘suspicious and harmful’ activity?_

_“...Irate taxpayers are demanding that Supers take up the slack for their mistakes as taxes skyrocket to cover Super lawsuits…”_

_Treblemaker using voice for ‘suspicious and harmful’ activity?_

_NO MORE SUPER BAILOUTS!_

_Supers Deemed ‘Too Expensive?”_

###  **May 12, Tirion Post**

_“At an emergency meeting last night governor Findis Finwean gave a speech in which she announced her support of the anti-super movement, declaring, “It is time for their secret identities to become their only identities. Time for them to join us or go away.” At the house of congress last night, the Superhero Relocation Movement was passed and approved, beginning the official integration of Supers into our everyday lives._

_No longer will the heroic figures of our past guard the gates against crime, they will be, as Tirion Post correspondent Varda Elbereth put it, “confined to the dull life of an average citizen, hidden among us and kept from further harm.” Governor Finwean stated, “This is for their own good and for the good of the people. Supers have simply outlived their stay. They have become unwanted and it is time that they left.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "treblemaker" is a work of genius that I take no credit for, and is obviously Maglor's code name.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3 years later, we see Finno struggling in a desk job with his husband and nine-month-old son and we meet the rest of the main cast of characters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point, Finno's about 26, Nelyo's 29, Moryo's a freshman (14) and Tyelko is a junior (16)

###  **October 24, 2:15 pm, 3 years later**

Finno looked dully over the sheet in front of him, already knowing what his answer was going to be. Heaving a sigh, he reached over and plopped a large red stamp down on the paper which --when he pulled it away-- read “DENIED” in big thick letters.

“D-denied?” The man in front of him stuttered, looking up at Finno with shock,

“I don’t understand! It says right here I have full coverage! Why are you denying my claim?” Finno took a deep breath and responded in a practiced monotone,

“I’m sorry Mr Olwë, our liability is spelled out clearly in paragraph nine. We cannot offer you coverage for a burning boat when--”

“But I can’t pay for this!” Olwë cut in, and Finno wanted to put his head in his hands. It felt like the hundredth time that day that he had had the same disappointing conversation. 

On his desk, his phone began to ring and Finno perked up for a moment, grabbing it and putting it to his ear with a mumbled, “excuse me” to the man opposite him.

“Nelyo? Is everything okay?” He could almost hear Nelyo’s smile across the phone line and it was enough to warm his heart a bit and to lift his spirits slightly out of the ditch they seemed to have fallen into.

“Finno? Guess what! We’re officially moved in! And Erenion said his first words! Isn’t that amazing?” Finno wished he had a quarter as much energy as he could hear bubbling in Nelyo’s voice. Distantly, he could remember a time when  _ he _ used to be the more bubbly of the pair, but now those roles had been reversed seemingly permanently. 

“That’s… that’s great babe… why don’t the last three years count?” In his mind, Finno pictured Nelyo’s expression of fond exasperation, bringing a small smile to his face.

“Because I finally unpacked the last box! It’s official now!” Finno takes a deep breath and tries to put some semblance of animation into his voice. Nelyo deserves his happiness, he should at least pretend to give it.

“That’s  _ great _ Nelyo, I’m so proud, but I’ve got a client here and--” Nelyo cuts him off,

“Oh, say no more, go save the world! I’ll have a chocolate cake waiting when you get home and-- oh, shit! I’ve got to go pick up Tyelko and Moryo, they’re staying with us for a couple of weeks, remember?” Finno nodded absentmindedly and made a vague noise of assent, muttering,

“Love you,” into the phone before hanging up and turning back to Olwë.

“Where were we?” He asked tiredly, and the man sitting in front of him burst into tears, sobbing,

“That boat was my pride and joy! If you can’t help me I don’t know what I’ll do!” Finno rubbed at his temples, his morals engaged in a violent and bloody war with everything that he had been told to do in this job. He hesitated a moment longer and then gave up, passing Olwë a notepad and pencil and hissing out of the corner of his mouth,

“Listen. I’d love to help, but I can’t. I’d love to tell you to take a copy of your claim to Eonwë Sulimo on the--” Fingon glanced back at Olwë, who was staring at him with his mouth open, completely uncomprehendingly. He let out a long sigh and tapped the notepad in the man’s hand promptingly,

“Eonwë Sulimo, S-U-L-I-M-O, on the third floor, but I can’t tell you that.” Olwë begins hurriedly scribbling down notes. “I would never tell you to ask for a WRAP-3791 form and I certainly wouldn’t file it under the Alqualondë policy, A-L-Q-U-A-L-O-N-D-E, with Curumo Aulëndur on the seventh floor. I would not expect someone to get back to you quickly to resolve the issue.” He paused and gave the man a little smile,

“Like I said, I’d love to help you, but I can’t.” Olwë cast him a beaming smile and said,

“Oh thank you Mr Fingolfini-” 

“I’M SORRY SIR, I KNOW YOU’RE UPSET” Finno cut him off, and then whispered, “Pretend you’re upset.” The man immediately burst into tears and fled the office, a grin still on his face. Finno sat back down with a satisfied smile, finally feeling like his day might be going in a good direction.

###  **October 24, 2:19 pm**

“FINGOLFINION!” Finno winced, shifting his weight in his seat to face the door and finding himself inches away from Gothmog Valaraukar, an (in Nelyo’s words) ‘tiny worthless anal son of a bitch.’ 

“YOU AUTHORIZED PAYMENT ON THE FINWION POLICY?” Nodding, Finno rubbed his forehead and responded,

“Someone broke into their house. Their policy clearly covers them against--” 

“I don’t  _ want _ to know about their coverage, Findekáno, I want to know how and why you are purposefully thwarting anything this company stands to gain! Tell me how any progress is possible with you giving out checks to every worthless idiot who comes along!” 

Finno shut his mouth and decided not to mention that the person in question happened to be his father-in-law and might have killed him on the spot had he not okayed their policy. Valarukar turns and stomps out of the office, leaving Finno alone. 

Heaving a sigh, he dropped down into his seat and watched in utter disbelief as the jar of pencils on the corner of his desk tipped over.

###  **October 24, 2:20 pm**

Nelyo entered the principal’s office at Tirion High with some trepidation, fully aware that this was not even the first time in the last month that he had been here because of one of his younger brothers. 

Upon seeing him, Tyelko turns away scowling and stares angrily at the ground, and Nelyo lets out a long sigh, absolutely sure that he is going to once again have to maneuver his brother out of trouble.

Manwë, the principal, gave Nelyo a thankful smile and began,

“I really appreciate you coming down here so quickly.” Nelyo frowned and glanced down at Tyelko again, who was now kicking at the ground,

“What’s this about? Has Tyelko done something wrong?” He took a seat beside his brother and stared in what he hoped was an expression of innocent curiosity at the two men standing before him: Manwe and Tyelko’s teacher, Oromë. Oromë stepped forwards pointing angrily at Tyelko,

“This  _ boy _ is a disruptive influence. He openly mocks me in front of the class and he’s argumentative, rude, and negligent of the respect I am due as a teacher in this fine establishment.” Celegorm gave the teacher a nasty look and muttered,

“ _ He _ says.” Nelyo kicked Celegorm as Oromë exploded,

“I KNOW IT’S YOU! This boy is putting tacks on my chair!” Nelyo raised an eyebrow,

“You saw him do this?” For a second he seemed to have stumped the teacher as Oromë muttered,

“Well… no… but I hid a camera and  _ this time I’ve got him. _ ” He pulled his phone from his back pocket and waved it in front of Tyelko’s face. At this, Tyelko glanced over at him nervously, clearly not having expected such a thing, and Nelyo kicked him in the shin again, effectively shutting off whatever protests he might have had. 

Oromë leaned across the table and Maedhros let out a long sigh, looking down at the small screen. 

In the video, Oromë approached his seat and sat, jumping up a second later with a comical look of surprise and pain on his face.

Maedhros cocked his head to the side and smiled lightly,

“I’m sorry, what am I supposed to be looking at?” Oromë looked dumbstruck, and tapped the screen angrily,

“You don’t see it? You don’t see it?!” The teacher let out a long-suffering sigh and replayed the video, slamming the pause button and laughing somewhat evilly,

“There! Right there!” he pointed down at Tyelko, who was still sitting in his chair, “He moves! Right there! I don’t know  _ how _ he does it, but there’s no tack on my chair before he moves, and after he moves,  _ there’s a tack.  _ Coincidence? I think _ not. _ ” Nelyo squinted, watching again as Tyelko’s image popped a little but he clearly remained sitting in his seat,

“I’m sorry, I’m not sure I quite see what you’re describing.” He said firmly, casting the principal an exasperated glance, and Manwë reached out, putting a placating hand on Oromë’s shoulder,

“You and your brother can go now, Mr Feanorion, I’m sorry for the trouble.” Oromë jumped up out of his seat and hopped furiously on the spot and Maedhros kicked Tyelko hard in the shin and gave Manwë a thankful smile, motioning for Tyelko to follow him. As the door shut behind him, Maedhros could still hear the enraged Oromë shouting,

“You’re letting him go  _ again? _ This little rat is guilty!  _ Guilty I tell you, GUILTY!  _ You can see it on his smug little face; he’s  _ guilty! _ ” Tyelko glared at the ground as Nelyo glanced over at him, wishing the age gap between them was a little less. 

He could remember a time, almost ten years ago now, when he was in Tyelko’s shoes and it felt like he had been handed the world on a platter. Good grades, famous family, and superpowers to boot? Nothing could have been better.

Now, Tyelko sat in his place with his messy blonde hair chopped off at uneven angles and his flinty grey eyes and he felt completely the opposite. They exited the school and Maedhros nudged Tyelko in the side gently, praying that he was doing the right thing.

“Hey, Tyelko, that makes the third time you’ve been sent out of class this month, by my count, and I’m sure mom and dad know about more. You need to find a better outlet for your energy, something more constructive and less childish than putting tacks on your biology teacher’s chair.” He hated how superior he sounded, but if he was being completely honest with himself, he wasn’t sure how else to approach this. After all,  _ Nelyo _ was never sent out of class.  _ Nelyo _ was the model student and graduated a year early with honors in every class.

Next to him, Tyelko grunted noncommittally and gave him a dirty look, kicking angrily at a rock on the ground in front of them.

“Yeah, well maybe I could if I was allowed to do sports like a normal kid.” Nelyo let out a long sigh, trying to give his brother a sympathetic look.

“Listen, I get it… but you know why you can’t do that.” 

“But I promise I’d be slower, I’d just be the best by a little!” Rolling his eyes, Nelyo fixed his brother with an unimpressed gaze and shook his head,

“Come on, Tyelko, you know what Mom’d say. You’re too competitive and there’s no way you wouldn’t give in to the temptation to show off if we put it right in front of you.” Looking hopeful, Tyelko met Nelyo’s eyes and said quietly,

“But Mom isn’t gonna be here. C’mon Nelyo, please? Just tryouts?” 

“Absolutely not. I’m not going against what Mom has already said, and that’s the end of it.” Tyelko bitterly kicked at the ground again and muttered,

“Yeah, I figured. You always say ‘do your best’ but you don’t really mean that, do you? I’m just supposed to half-ass it and ‘fit in’ and be ‘normal.’” Nelyo let out a long sigh, wishing that the bell signaling the end of the day would just ring so that he wouldn’t be alone with Tyelko anymore and maybe the topic would change so he could feel more like a brother and less like a parent.

“Right now, that’s not what people want.” He answered tiredly, “They just want us to fit in, and to do that we have to be like everyone else.” He wished that there was something more positive that he could say, but there simply wasn’t. Checking his watch, Nelyo glanced up at the school again. 

“But Finno’s constantly talking about how we shouldn’t hide our powers or be ashamed of them and shit… that they’re what ‘makes us special.’”

“Everyone’s special, Tyelko.” Maedhros said wearily, a pang going through his chest at the mention of his husband. He had sounded so… defeated when Maedhros talked to him through the phone, not at all like the Finno he had first fallen in love with. In fact, Maedhros thought regretfully, Finno really hadn’t  _ been _ happy since they had gone undercover. Gone was the sparkling bubbly ever-cheerful personality that Finno had once sported, instead his husband seemed thoroughly downtrodden and monotone, failing to show anything but the barest traces of excitement and happiness. 

Nelyo was glad when the bell finally rang, signaling the end of the day and Moryo’s imminent arrival, and pretended not to hear Tyelko’s muttered response,

“Yeah right. That just means no one is.” 

###  **October 24, 2:35 pm**

Carnistir Morifinwë Feanorion, nearly always known as Moryo, tugged at the straps of his backpack, head tilted down towards the floor, peeking upwards at the hall in front of him. Nearly everyone else in the school had already filed out the front doors and he was alone in the hall except for a tall skinny girl in a leather jacket and ripped up jean shorts. Moryo hid just around the corner from her, waiting for her to leave, but the girl --Haleth, head of the LGBTQ+ club and five-time regional champion of girl’s wrestling-- didn’t seem in a hurry to go anywhere.

Moryo hesitated for a moment, then closed his eyes, focusing intensely as his body slowly disappeared, leaving behind an empty set of clothes and a backpack. He hurried behind her, praying that she wouldn’t turn around. 

He bolted out the doors and rematerialized on the other side, peering around the doorframe and watching as Haleth whipped around, staring at the space where he had been a moment before. Moryo’s heart froze. What if she had seen him? Had he just blown his cover? Had he-- she turned away again shrugging, and Moryo took a deep breath in, his face glowing brilliantly red as he realized,

“She noticed me!” He whispered excitedly to himself, turning away and walking off with a little bounce in his step towards the ridiculously tall red-head waiting by a car at the front of the lot.


End file.
